*****Latest Results*****Latest Results**Saturday 6th. April**Under 9 League Cup**Birchwood JFC 3 Garswood Eagles 2**Under 12 League Cup**Garswood Lions 0 Golborne Sports 9**Garswood Pumas 1 Earlestown 4**Vulcan Juniors 3 Garswood Leopards 2**Under 13 League Cup**Highfield Grange 9 Garswood Hawks 1**Under 13 Division 5**Garswood Eagles 1 Pilkington 4*****Sunday 7th. April**Under 14 League Cup**Garswood Lions 3 Widnes Dragons 4**Under 15 League Cup**Parkdale Sidac 3 Garswood Hawks 2** 

Garswood 5-3 East Leigh B

What game !, What a performance ! and What a finish to the season !

Having scored just one goal in the previous nine matches and only 14 goals all season, Garswood went nap with, FIVE, absolutely  tremendous strikes in a pulsating end to end final game. The match started badly for Garswood who found themselves 2 nil down and but for some super saves from keeper Adam BOWERS could have been even further behind. Then, with the seconds ticking away towards half time, Tyler DUFFY swung in a perfect corner, striker Tyler PRESCOT,  found space inside the penalty area and forced the ball over the line…off his hip. Garswood where back in the game and the greatest come-back since Liverpool’s famous 2005 Champions League Final win was on the cards.

Tyler DUFFY later stated that his corner technique was all down to the coaching he had been given over the past couple of years and Tyler PRESCOT confirmed the ‘hip’ was one they regularly practised in training.

Into the second half and Garswood not only equalised, they actually took the lead with strikes from Daniel WHITE and Jack O’BRIEN. Daniel scoring his first goal in years, and Jack getting onto the end of a great passing move, he coolly slotted the ball past the advancing keeper. Jack admitted that his calm un-flustered finish was down to the great work done by the coaches at the Club.

Garswoods lead was short lived as an Eastleigh corner found its way into the goal, although keeper Adam BOWERS was convinced it never crossed the line, a passing Russian linesman waved his flag and the goal was given. Adam later said he felt he had let the coaching staff down, “They’ve worked tirelessly with me all year on crosses but there was a swirling wind, the sun was in my eye’s and I could hear my dad singing Man City’s ‘Blue Moon’ behind the goal, it was all off putting”

Garswood managed to lift themselves and in a thrilling finish in which both sides had chances Daniel WHITE incredibly scored his second of the game. A direct free kick was award just outside the Eastleigh area and struck home with the force of a ‘Jimmy Case’ special leaving the keeper no chance. Daniel said the Coaches have been working on my free kicks all season and when I was told to step up and take this one I knew exactly what I was going to do with it, although I’ve never seen  ‘Jimmy Case’ I know he was a great Liverpool player.

The FIFTH and final goal came way of an unfortunate own goal by Eastleigh, Garswood midfielder Thomas HUGHES tried to claim the goal after his tame shot was deflected by a defender onto the post, then hit the keeper before rolling into the net. Although Thomas claimed his shot was ‘always going in’ replays show its was going well wide. His father Paul HUGHES, a life long Everton fan, claimed it was a conspiracy “I’ve seen it happen before to my beloved Everton, in the 1977 F.A Cup semi-final against Liverpool we had a goal taken away from Bryan Hamilton that robbed us of a place in the final and then in 2005 ‘Big Dunc’ had a goal taken away from him against Villareal in the Champions League qualifiers, we would have gone on to win the cup both times, I just know we would, and we would have stopped Liverpool being the greatest British team of all time”  “Although I’m not bitter, this goal could have set our Thomas on his way as a striker like Brett Angell or Stuart Barlow”.

Although not on the score sheet, Luke SIMPSON and Joe DINLEY ran endlessly throughout the game, Luke told everyone that his dad thought it was the best team performance he had seen since Liverpool beat Man Utd 3-1. Defender Harry SCOTT, played a blinder as the last line of defence as Garswood went all out attack. With a new ‘Diamond’ formation developed over the course of two friendlies and the two strikers playing tandem the team finally bonded after losing 19 of the previous 21 matches. Joe DINLEY was at a loss to explain how he has failed to score all season even after the excellent coaching, he said “My dad told me, ‘ Son, It only takes a second to score a goal’, I just haven’t been able to find that second”.

Harry Scott told everyone how his dad had been reading coaching manuals the night before the last game, ‘The Art Of Goal Scoring Made Easy’ and ‘The Diamond Formation….. A Guaranteed Success’. Harry said ” He’s had them all season but he only read them last night, we could have won the league and everything”

Although he couldn’t be at the game head coach Kev O’Neil sent the following message to the B squad players

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat”.
Kev message to his assistant Ian Scott was “Acknowledge that you failed, draw your lessons from it, and use it to your advantage to make sure it never happens again.”

Here’s to next season

Garswood Juniors U10’s B squad equal Everton’s Premiership Record

On Saturday 19th March 2011 Garswood’s U10’s Division 1 squad made the headlines with a 3 nil defeat away to Wigan Junior Latics.  Garswood became the first team since Everton in 1994/95 to go 7( yes seven) consecutive matches in the top flight without scoring a goal. Garswood’s last goal was scored way back on the 11th December 2010 in a 4-1 defeat, coincidently to Wigan Junior Latics.

During this unfortunate run of games Garswood have not conceded more than three goals in any match but have failed to find the back of the opposition net in over 280 minutes of football.

Head Coach, Kevin O’Neill has put the blame firmly on the half time biscuits currently being given to the squad, Kev said “Since we changed from Jaffa Cakes to Jammy Dodgers the players are spending all the second half trying to get the jam off their teeth and losing focus on scoring goals”. “Its all down to cost cutting since Mr Molly took over the money side of the Club”

Assistant coach Ian Scott ( who led his previous U10’s squad to the Championship with a record of Played 22 won 22) states that he has worked tirelessly all season on the defensive side of the team, leaving Kev to work with the strikers, “I’m not sure were Kev’s going wrong but its quite obvious he his out of his depth at this level”.

Parent and lifelong Evertonian Paul Hughes, said “I cant believe it, I suffered dark despairing times watching Everton and now history is repeating itself with my son”, Paul went on to say “I’ve seen the work the coaches are doing in training, they get the lads shooting with the power of Stevie G, the style of Raul Miereles and the skill of Luis Suarez but then when it comes to the match they are more like Tony Hibbert”. Visibly shaking as he tried to remove the top from his valium tablets Paul was heard muttering to his bed-nurse “Its Liverpool  and Cherrybrook for me next season”

When asked for their thoughts current player Cody Walker told reporters ” The coaches are not playing to our strengths, they are trying to play a sitting defensive midfielder and deploying wing-backs and players interchanging position and pressing hard up-field with a high forward line, and its just not working”.

Thomas Matthew’s said ” I support Morecombe Town so I cant really comment on football matters”

Tyler Duffy said “I agree with Cody”

Daniel White said he thought things went wrong once Thomas Hughes started wearing his pink Everton shirt under his Garswood top. “Pink!, Its just not right for men’s football”

Joe Dinley however agreed with head coach Kev, “Its definitely the biscuits. I once saw Luke Simpson put two Jammy Dodgers in his mouth at half time, he was still trying to chew them 20 minutes after the game had finished, it caused a right mess when he tried to eat his hot-dog at the same time”

Keeper Adam Bowers said “Don’t blame me”

Tyler Prescott said “My dad told me- Son the one thing that’s certain in football – If you don’t shoot you don’t score- or was it Brian Clough who said it, I think it was my dad”

Harry Scott and Jack O’Brien were playing on their X-Box 360’s so were unavailable for comment.

With three games to go until the end of the season the squad has been set a target of 10 shots and hopefully one will go in. Hartlepool United in the 1923/24 season currently hold the record for a professional team when they went 11 games without scoring a goal, Head Coach Kev said “If we equal that record then I will have no choice but to sack Scotty and get the players back on biscuits with less jam in them”

Club Secretary Tom Nugent was livid when he heard the news, “Its our Club’s 30th anniversary this year and now were tarred with same brush as Everton, I’m thinking of cancelling the celebrations and asking the Warrington League to expunge all records for this season”

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